Choosing to be child-free
4 mins read

Choosing to be child-free

Choosing to be child-free. The world’s opinion can suck it!

A while ago, and by a while ago I mean seven years ago, I started thinking about choosing to be child-free aka not having children.

I came to this decision when I was still a teenager, what do you do when you’re in your teens? Do you share your thoughts with someone whose opinion matters to see what they think, right? Or at least that’s what I did.

At the time, my mom was like my role model, so I shared my thoughts with her and wow she lost her shit. She was so mad at me, she couldn’t believe that I could dare think, let alone say such a thing. After a lot of guilt-tripping, I was like okay, maybe having a kid wouldn’t be so bad.

I was still young then and as such what others thought actually meant a damn to me and if my mother wanted me to sire children then damn it I would.

Fast-forward a few years later, I was put in a position to choose, and I chose not to sire a child, and to date that was the best choice I ever made.

This is several years later at this point and my stance remains the same, the only difference between now and then is that I really don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks about my decision to be child-free.

What bothers me is when other women allow themselves to be bullied for the same choice.

Lady, listen to me, what you do with your uterus is your business and no one can bully you into using your uterus for purposes for which you had not intended.

A while ago, I shared my reasons for being child-free, but the truth is that NO ONE should have to explain their choices.

You are allowed to want to be child-free because you simply wish to be child-free. There doesn’t have to be any other reason besides that.

So what if someone calls you selfish? As human beings we are inherently selfish, we are all selfish, and none is more so than the other, so why does/should the term bother you?

People have this misguided notion that kids somehow bring fulfillment and I daresay that fulfillment is innate, it is an inside job. There is nothing external that can help you with that, not children, not a partner, not a job, just you, deciding to make a difference and siring children isn’t it.

About a week ago I watched a TEDx talk about the same, and I was so moved and will be linking the talk below. I agreed with everything the speaker had to say, especially the fact that there are other ways to be fulfilled, there are other more important ways to build a legacy, and that it is not the destiny of a woman to carry children.

For the sake of being objective, I will acknowledge the women who do believe that their goal in life is to be moms, I salute them.

Being a mom is good too, however, the thought that I challenge, the thought and culture that has been established the world over is that it is the destiny of all women to carry pregnancies to term, that is what bothers me. Say it with me, my uterus is my business. My destiny is whatever I decide it to be.

I choose to be child-free, and I owe no one an explanation for it. I choose to be child-free because I wish to be child-free. End of story :)!

2 thoughts on “Choosing to be child-free

  1. It quite perplexing how society perceives not wanting to have a child as selfish when the innate reason (9 out of 10 times) for people wanting to have a child is self serving :/

    1. Damn it I should buy you a beer.

      I totally agree!!! In any case, reasons aside what I hate about this whole thing is the narrative that it is the destiny of all women to be mothers as if we have nothing more meaningful to contribute to the world. However, what irks me the most is when that ill-informed narrative is being propelled by other women.

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